Things I'm giving up for Lent/ Shout out to New Orleans!

Since I didn't make a New Year's Resolution (I'm becoming a cynical Frenchie) I feel it rather important that I make a legit Lent resolution. Something difficult to prepare me for Easter, you know. I don't know if the French know what Lent is (damn secular culture) and they sure don't know how to celebrate Mardi Gras (wouldn't want to be like "kitsch Americans")...but I'm going to do it anyway.

I would give up chocolate, except I joined the Club Med today. And I have limited funds to buy food. So it can't be diet related. I'm already on that.

And I'm just not going to give up caffeine because that's silly. No one wants to see me in a coma-like state. And it would be too easy since I only drink 1-2 teas a day. Every once and awhile I throw a coffee or Diet Coke in there. And I would be losing out on potentially life-saving antioxidants. So this popular idea loses with me.

Plus, giving up "unhealthy" food groups and forcing yourself to look good in a swimsuit just in time for beach weather all seem a little selfish...a little superficial, don't you think? Kinda loses the reason for the season.

So I'm going to do something more meaningful and more difficult. Something that requires a little more energy. Something for my emotional well-being.

I am giving up French men. I quit you. As of tomorrow matin.

So there.

When Lent begins I will start my search for the ideal Irish, British or American man. Or I will go find Christian Ahlmann.

By the time Lent is over I will be safely home in Alabama, free of the drama and endless BISOUS of French men. This, my friends, is exciting.

People who ride horses are the prettiest people in the world

Exhibit A:




This is my sweet future boyfriend Christian Ahlmann. I don't know if the attraction lies more in the fact that he looks plucked straight from the DKE or KA house, his Olympian horse-riding abilities or his bad-boy appeal (he got caught for doping his horse after the Equestrian Olympic Games in Hong Kong). I have basically decided that he and his high, horse-riding buttocks are meant for me. And my colleagues who know him agree. As my previous post notes, I'm not down with all the lovey-dovey bisoussssssss the Frenchmen are blowing my way; seeing a burly German drink pints of beer hits closer to home...in a good way.

You know, I just can't bring a dude who owns a hair dryer to Gallette's. But this guy, yes. And I have it on good word that he likes American women. Basically, I'm in like flin.

More to come concerning the looks of equestrians. I must go watch Christian jump to glory on his 10 year old gelding, Sebastian. A tout!

Since our last meeting, the following has happened:

1. I went home for Thanksgiving and the SEC Championship. Hung out with Taylor Hicks, met my new cousin Daniel, had lunch with my SSS at Bottega, had impromptu spend-the-night parties with Allison, Allie, KT, Molly and Mom (all pretty routine), had culture shock over how big and commercial the US can be, etc. I felt like I had never left although I had been gone 7ish months.

2. I went to Prague for Christmas where I learned to like grog (rum and hot water) and stayed with Caroline's Czech family. Prague is beautiful. Unfortunately I forgot my camera and am now waiting for a friend I met there to send me his pictures. As you can see, that is going well...

3. Paris for New Years (where I insisted everyone listen to Alabama while I tried to TEACH square dancing). Also was pretty adamant that all the multicultural guests at aforementioned party listen to the lyrics of "The Night They Drove Ole Dixie Down." The musical selections went well with the foie gras and champagne, I'm just sure of it.

4. I got sick of French men saying "bisoussssssss" at the beginning, middle and end of every conversation. Almost makes me miss emotionally-absent males! I think I will find the happy medium in Ireland. For the non-Francophiles among us, bisous means kisses. And it's just hard to take someone seriously who is saying this all the time...and who "misses" you after one date. Maybe I'm just that awesome. The book "Talk to the Snail" by Stephen Clark that Caroline so kindly and thoughtfully gave me for Christmas has shed much light on French culture and men. I will have some quotes later.

5. I have not had seasonal depression. I realize that winter is not nearly over, but considering that it has been much too cold for my taste basically since the day I arrived (Sept. 5th), this is an accomplishment. There are a couple plausible reasons for this...one being no exams or anything due around December, another being that I'm not in Tuscaloosa, another being that snow has been very much involved...not just dreary, blustery winds...and lastly...fluexotine.

6. I have secured an apartment for the last leg of my journey. In the 1st arrondissement beside the Louvre. I could not be more excited to be a faux-Parisian for a month and a half. Allison will be bringing some Tuscaloosa to my life for nine days, which will be just fabulous. I hope we make it out alive and don't pull any stunts reminiscent of Freshman year at the Blount dorms. After this I will be returning home at the end of March for Molly's wedding festivities which I am seriously pumped about.

7. And my new year's resolution (well, one of them that I wrote on a post-it note 3 days ago) is to blog once a week. Maybe even more.

What are you doing for Jesus' Birthday?

I'm going to Prague!

un autre repas

Yesterday I learned that you can't substitute slivered almonds for walnuts when you are sauteeing. When slivered almonds burn it smells like burnt popcorn.

Today I learned that everyone loves my salads and my basmati rice. This was my first time to cook rice.

I'm basically ready for my debut as a suburban housewife.

the next Frank Stitt?

Just wanted my lovely readers to know that last night we had 10 people over for Arthur's birthday. It was more of a "fancy" dinner...candles lit, the real silver, etc.

What did we eat in this culinary capital of the world?

Chicken pate d'Alabama and mom's salad with clementines and almonds.

Berlin has some really cool bars. Here we are at one of them with P. Diddy's son, Adrien, and his roommate.

German wieners are the best!

Caro looks like the perfect German lassi in this picture!

Getting my wiener schnitzel on.

Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe, Berlin

Part of the Berlin Wall

destruction!!!!

Heidi Klum's costume is seriously PERFECT. She looks like she walked right out of the Kumortuli neighborhood in Kolkata.

Pascal now introduces me as either:

1. Kali, a close personal friend of Barack Obama. (I play along with this one and add that I was his mistress when I lived in Chicago...)

or

2. Kali, she's a Princess from the state of Alabama. (No one gets this one so it's not that fun).

People like to hold French newspapers and magazines (which all have Barack's mug on the front) up to my face and say "are you ready to become a socialist country like us? Say hello to your next President!" Pascal asked me yesterday if I was ready for America's second "Black Tuesday?!"

Every French child I've talked to doesn't understand the difference between "Obama" and "Bama." Or, they at least think there is some link. Wrong! They've never heard of McCain, of course. When I attempt to start a dialogue with any foreigner about why Obama is awesome, this is (I kid you not) what I ALWAYS recieve: "McCain is so OLD!"

I can think of worse things. For starters, I find it pretty humorous that the most partisan and liberal senator in our country talks about change.



Mon Dieu!

for those of you wondering if rando Indian journalist still writes me, the answer is a resounding YES!

Here's one of today's emails. I found it particularly fun...

"hi kali !!

some hindi word nd minings !!!!!!
specaly for u .............[mobile 0094144-75210]

1: hiiiiiiii vikram, how r u ? > namskar vikram, aap kaiese hai ji !
2: u living in my hart ! > aap [tum] mere dil [hart] me ho !
3: im happy nd fine ! > mai khush hu or achi hu !
4: im coming soon jodhpur
nd meet to u ! > mai jaldi jodhpur aa rahi hu or aapase milungi !
5: u r a noty boy ! > tum [ aap] badamas ladake ho !
6: what u douing ? > aap kya kar rahe ho ?
7: im missing u ! > mujhe aapaki yaad aati hai ! [ mai tumhe miss kar rahi hu ]

nd i want a glass drink watar vikram ! vikram mujhe 1 gilas pani pilao !..............

im waiting for u nd yor answer ! byyyyyy"

I will always be connected to India for better and worse. And next time I call Vikram (ps I never have) to tell him he's a naughty boy, I will just print out this handy list of phrases! It's like Rosetta Stone for dyslexics!!!

this post should shed some light on where I get my "quirks."

Just an excerpt from Molly's post-UT win email. I didn't think that I'd be in France and living the Tide's freaking awesome season vicariously. But I am.



"Our fam is so superstitious it's truly hilarious. Hunter's lucky shirt he wears for every game is this Wal Mart bama shirt that looks somewhat like a jersey but it's got a collar on it. And he has to drink a certain type of Sweetwater beer before every game. Oh and Will's 70's style Bama toboggan is lucky as well...it has this white bunny tail looking thing on the top of it. He was wearing it when yelling back at the bitter Vols fan that was shouting at us about red clay and pine trees."

RTR!!

Dang. I thought my days of acne were over 5 years ago when I turned from antibiotics and topicals to hormone drugs, aka Yasmin. Turns out I was wrong. My hormones are raging like they did on my 13th birthday. The past 3 days I've woken up with about 7 new whiteheads in my "T zone," and I've had a two day migraine that Tylenol Sinus, coffee, sleep, advil, and prayer won't cure.

To make matters worse, my naturally dry old-lady skin (my pride and joy) and my grease-less hair that I have to wash virtually never now gets OILY IN 1.5 DAYS. What is wrong? Why did God decide for me to peak in India, not France???

This is strange. I'm listening to Eli Gold on Yahoo sports.

"The wind is swirling," above Bryant-Denny, evidently.

And it's 9:31 p.m. in Chantilly. Arthur and Adèle are taking their baths and then
I promised them a Disney movie. I got a good feel for what being a housewife
is all about today (it's Caro's day off and I'm babysitting.) Gymnastics lessons, polo match, playing at a friend's house
for 1.5 hrs, cook dinner, clean, do laundry, ask nicely, get frustrated, etc.

Molly, I watched Adele's gymnastics class for about 30 minutes today and had the
strangest flashbacks of Mountain Brook Gymnastics. What was that weird
stretching that you and Mom did every night? And what was my ballet teacher's name?
Beth? The little girls in France aren't nearly as hard-core as y'all were. No matching
leos (they wear pj's, t-shirts, baggy leos, etc) and no stretching or crazy conditioning.
I think the point of gymnastics here is to look cute. Kind of like how I feel that the language
is mainly there to sound pretty. They share the facility with some
sword fighters and wall-climbers.

Did you know that corporal punishment is outlawed here? Thoughts?

Here comes the Tide. How about Eli's vivid language?


....4 hours later. We BARELY won. Now that my heart rate is up
I'm going to attempt to go to bed. If it wasn't already official, it is now.
The Renauldons have to think I'm crazy. I've been listening (not watching,
that's not possible yet) to a game online for over 4 hours. I would have listened in my
room but the internet signal doesn't reach my room so I've been sitting under a lamp in the living room. They got
home from a party 30 minutes ago (12:30 a.m).

I took a few breaks throughout the game. One to pour some drain stuff down my sink that isn't draining.
New appreciation for plumbers. One to fold my laundry. One to unload the dishwasher and wash 3 pans.
Mom, I know you're probably laughing right now. I've never done 3 loads of my own laundry in one day. I
did that today. (It was only 3 loads b/c it is a small, economical French washing machine, not b/c I've been letting it pile up,
fyi.)

By the way, mom sent a shaker (I requested it) with Katie and Amy last weekend. Today I gave it to Adele.
What was her first inclination? To use it as a duster. And mop. Both make more sense that the way we use them in 'Bama.

Then she rode the shaker like a horse. Then Arthur took it, put it on his head and said he looked like Michael Jackson. I'm still confused about this one. But right after he made this comment he went to my computer and youtubed "Thriller". Michael wears red in this vid if you recall. And that is the only connection I can make.

Then Adele put the shaker in her mouth. "Alabama dans ta bouche," I said. (Bama in your mouth.) I tried to explain that Bama is a state "etat" in the United States "etats unis." Now there is confusion over the difference between American football, Alabama, shakers, red and white...and whether red and white are "America's colors" or Alabama's.

I'm getting confused myself. Off to bed.

Roll Tide Roll.

ay bay bay

WELCOME TO THE WORLD DANIEL!!!

and congrats to Linds and Aar-bear!

Food I've made in the past two days:

1. Chicken Pate (really good!)

2. Flank Steak marinated in Worcestershire, soy sauce, red wine and lemon juice (really good).

Both were delicious. Especially considering that they were my first two attempts at cooking meat, ever.

Looks like I'm well on my way to becoming a an excellent housewife. Or, more likely, just someone who can cook something other than scrambled eggs and grilled cheese. Thanks "Food for Thought."