she needs a job...here's how she plans on getting it...
Dear Mr. Employer,
I would like to express interest in your company’s ability to save me from the hell that is moving back home after college. In case you were wondering, I possess no initiative, which is a direct correlation to the fact I sleep under my parent’s wedding quilt and help my grandmother tweeze her eyebrows on the weekends.
If you would be so kind as to review my attached attempt at squeezing all my qualities onto one page in a Microsoft trial edition that expired yesterday, I would be forever indebted. (I found that lucky adjective in the thesaurus) So skip your lunch break, ponder over my run-ons, and get back to me on how my life will change by spending 78% of my week in a box. Ciao.
Apathetic in Alabama